Tantra cannot easily be captured within one definition, so here I like to share what Tantra means to me. For me Tantra is an ancient spiritual path, a lifestyle. It is a path of self-development and awareness. Becoming more and more aware of the patterns of thinking, and the emotions and feelings we experience, without suppressing them. Tantra is supporting me in my personal growth and supports all aspects of myself into a harmonious unity. In a tantric lifestyle our sexual energy and desire is not suppressed, but it is harnessed and used for our spiritual unfolding. Tantra makes no distinction between life-force energy and sexual energy. It is just energy. Pure, primal and powerful energy and in its natural flow it is a great source of inspiration and creative power.
More and more, Tantra is becoming something that people have heard about, experienced or practiced. Some people even know that it is not about sex. Although sex is an important part of it. This is simply because sex is everywhere anyway. Even people without any energetic awareness sense that there is something potent about sexuality. That's why many are either repressing it, or are controlled by their own sexual desires.
Tantra in fact is an attitude to live in love, acceptance and surrender. A path to set yourself free of fear, and not afraid of losing something. It is a path that is extremely beautiful as it is challenging at the same time. This is because in Tantra we are not hiding from anything. Any-thing. We perceive everything as energy. We embrace the energy of intense feelings, such as grief, sadness, anger, and we also embrace desire, sexuality and eroticism. In a tantric lifestyle none of the energy is intrinsically bad or good. It is just energy. It is a choice to live fully. It's as if Tantra is telling us: enough holding back. What are we holding onto anyway? Living each day as the last one ... this is when we get, or create, the opportunity to wake up. And at the same time, using each moment, each feeling, each encounter as a gateway to a deeper presence. To the real me. This is how I choose to live my life.
"Tantra asks you to look at yourself honestly. To open up to yourself and the other, so your connection will deepen and you can start to feel life much deeper."
In my experience there is no end to the depth of energetic opening. Even though someone may seem open and totally free, there is always more. Therefor I think it is important to be completely be open to all dimensions which can be experienced in intimacy and sexuality. Inviting us to let go all kinds of labelling of good and bad in this regard. Because essentially, what we are opening to is our true Self. It is the Universe, or you might call it God or essence, or .... we are opening to a space of no separation. And yes, we can get there trough intimacy and sexuality, but also trough meditation, through music, or connecting to the elements. All that is available for you.
In spirituality I often hear that it is important to detach from our desires, because our desires are endless and they make us hook into the material world. So, it is said that we need to transcend them. Unfortunately, what often happens is that in trying to transcend these desires, people suppress and judge them. However, when we suppress or judge something it manifests in a different form and it is not gone. It stays in our field and when energy is suppressed, it potentially manifests as disorder or even illness. Tantra offers us an alternative way. It says that, in order to detach ourselves from desires and transcend them, we actually need to find those very deep core desires and be with them in acceptance, whether they are fulfilled or not is equal to us. When the energy comes up, they can be seen as pure life force energy, without any labeling energy. This is liberating.